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Peaceful Reflection

A rainy day, storms on their way, a bored dog, and a couple of old photos. This combination created a rather dull day for my dog and I, but those old photos sure brought back some good memories and a gentle reminder to slow down.

2 min read · T. M. Engh for UNEQPD

mood
tender, wistful — regret turning into resolve
energy
low
weather
A rainy day, storms on their way
music
"classical"
A long dock reaches out across a lake at sunset, the sun low behind scattered clouds and glinting off the still water. A child stands partway down the dock in silhouette, another crouched near the water at its far end. Two more kids splash in the lake beyond the dock, backlit against the sun's reflection. Low hills line the far shore, and an empty bench sits on a side platform near the dock's near end. The left of the frame is darkened, where 'JOURNAL ENTRY #4', the title 'Peaceful Reflection' and the entry's opening lines are set in white type.

It was a dreary day. Rain had ruined all plans of outdoor adventures. My faithful companion, Indi, lay on the couch staring me down. Her eyes asking, “Are we doing anything today?”

I patted her head and told her, “Sorry girl. It’s going to be a boring day. Storms are on their way and it doesn’t look like the rain is going to let up at all.”

We went downstairs to gather more items to sell on eBay. I’ve been getting rid of some of my HAM radio equipment and old comic books. She sniffed around for a bit, grunted at me with boredom, and went back upstairs to lay on the arm of the couch and stare out the window.

Earlier, I had been distracted by some old photos. Two of them in particular caught my eye. Both were of docks. One of my son as a solitary fisherman and the other of my kids and a friend splashing in the water. Two docks built for the same purpose, but enjoyed in two entirely different ways.

A child sits alone on a small dock at dusk, fishing rod cast out over calm water, cap and striped jersey silhouetted against the fading light. An empty bench stands behind them on the dock. Houses and trees line the far shore, their shapes and a few lit windows reflected in the still water, and a boat rests under a lift canopy at the dock’s near edge.

Both images brought back beautiful memories. However, a pain came with them. I’ve been so focused on providing and making something of myself that I can’t remember the last time I enjoyed moments like this with my son. He is growing into a young man and I miss him.

Thus, the selling of goods was put on hold. Instead, I planned a getaway for the two of us. That’s what today was supposed to be. We had planned two hours of trout fishing, but the weather had other plans. I found another day that would work for us.

These simple times of reflection have helped me heal lately. A realization that I’m not getting any younger and my son is only growing older. I need to stop thinking about the future and start enjoying the present. Soon he will no longer need me. I will be a proud father on that day because I will know I did my job. But, I will also cry because I did my job too well.

This is a gentle reminder to slow down. Count yourself lucky to be a father who has built such a wonderful life for your family. The next time you’re on a dock remember to smile, cast your line, and jump in.

tagged: fatherhood

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